The Right Questions with James Victore
The Right Questions is designed to help you get paid to do what you love and stay sane in the process.
The Right Questions with James Victore
Episode 45: Do As I Say
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How do we absorb wisdom from our heroes without becoming mere echoes of their voices?
This question—courtesy of listener Ray—cuts to the heart of creative growth and personal development.
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Cue the music. Welcome to the Right Questions. Today we have a question that comes in from our listener, ray. Hey Ray, by the way, I love what you're doing. I'm watching, I see what you're doing, I love your drawings and I really dig your spirit, so please keep going. Okay, ray tells me that this question is inspired by section 14 of the hey Weirdo workbook and the section 14 is titled Weird Role Models. Ray, thank you. That is awesome that the workbook from my book hey Weirdo is of value to you. Workbook from my book hey Weirdo is of value to you.
Speaker 1:I've heard this from so many people that the workbook is quality and of service and helps in your personal and professional transformation. That's why I wrote it, that's why I made it and that means the world to me and y'all. Y'all means everybody. If you haven't gotten the workbook, then find it at heyweirdoorg. That's where you can find the hey Weirdo workbook and the soon-to-be best-selling book hey Weirdo. Check it out, heyweirdoorg.
Speaker 1:As I said, section 14 is called Weird Role Models, is called Weird Role Models and part of it asks you to identify three people you admire who embrace their weirdness. It asks what makes them stand out. How do they use their unique qualities to create impact, and how do they share their work with the world and how can you apply their approach to your own life? And from that, ray brings this question how can one make the most of learning from role models while still sustaining fierce self-reliance and independent thinking? Excellent question, ray, and you bring up a very good point. You bring up the point of duality. You want to learn from others but maintain your own integrity.
Speaker 1:I have heard this echoed from many creatives who teach, right, many creatives who have taught in art school, for example. And there is the fear of creating mini-me's, some of them, some teachers. I get it here. Here's what you do. Do that. But some of us don't want to create just kind of mini-me's. We want, like you said, fierce, independent, critical thinkers. We don't want people with all form and no personal content.
Speaker 1:And I will begin answering this question with a line that I really love, and it goes like this when I was a kid, when I was a kid what a great way to start any story, right, it's up there with Once Upon a Time and In a Galaxy Far, far Away, because so much of us starts back when we were kids. So when I was a kid, there was a phrase thrown around the house, obviously from my parents, that said do as I say, not as I do, which was confusing to me as a kid and I wasn't sure why. But now, a few years later, and as I've moved on down the road, as they say, I understand why it's confusing. And the reason is because it's confusing. The demand is asking for blind obedience and asking for you to get in line, follow the freaking program. It is the not as I do part that screws us up, because the way we teach I do part that screws us up, because the way we teach is not by telling people or children do as I say, but we teach by example. We literally teach do as I do. Our actions speak more than whatever we say. So we learn from teachers and heroes and role models for what they do, from who they are, from their character, their beliefs, their courage and integrity. You know integrity, right. Integrity makes it easy. Integrity is when what you do lines up completely with what you say, right With what you do, lines up completely with who you are. Right now you're thinking oh man, I wish James Victoria could be my mentor, my guru. Hell, I wish he was my coach, mentor, my guru Hell, I wish he was my coach. Well, you can make that happen. Go to yourworkisagiftcom. There's a questionnaire that will probably help you out, but it'll also give you access to a free call. So let's talk, let's free you from overwhelm and creative frustration, let's build your business and help you get paid to do what you love. Again, go to yourworkisagiftcom, let's talk.
Speaker 1:And I don't know about you, ray, but when I'm stuck or confused or wandering and feel lost, I have to refer to my mentors, to my guides. I have to go back to the basics. I have to go back to the great and powerful weirdos in my life. I look to the powerful voices that often lead me, and they may come from literature and they may come from poetry or art, and for me, these voices, they don't tell me what to do but who to be. They reaffirm my fierce self-reliance, as you so well put it. They reaffirm my critical, independent thinking and my trust in my gut, my trust in myself, hell, my trust in my audience.
Speaker 1:And if I'm lost and searching and I need some guidance, or if I need to be inspired at a gallery or looking through a book of art, or even inspired by someone else's Instagram post no-transcript. The directive I receive is not to just follow that. I don't just say, oh, I get it. Red background flush left typography, upper left corner image scribbly at a jaunty angle. These role models don't tell me what to do. They tell me how to be. Learning from role models or from influences reminds me how to be. They remind me how to trust myself, to trust my gut, and that everything inside me is valid and worthy. They don't tell me what to draw or paint or write. They remind me to play. They tell me go back and enjoy the fucking process. They tell me, james, go make a mess. Here's an example A few years ago, when I was working on my first big book, the coffee table book Victoria or who Died and Made you Boss, and if you haven't gotten that one, damn that one.
Speaker 1:That one's great. That is the nail in the coffin to my career as a designer. It's like it's such great stuff. It was published by Abrams a couple of years ago, but I digress. I was looking for someone to write the book for me because I was a coward. To write the book for me because I was a coward.
Speaker 1:Quite frankly, I wanted some fancy writer from the New Yorker or a strong voice from the New York Times op-ed page, and I mentioned this to my editor at the time and she suggested why don't you write it? And all of a sudden I felt like I was back in high school, being asked to write an essay on democracy and groaning about it. Right, you know why? I wasn't a writer but, as luck or fate would have it, at the same time I had just started reading Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential and I was struck by how powerful his words were and how to the point he was and his ability for truth telling. And I thought, damn, he's not writing. That's just how he speaks. I can speak too. Me has words.
Speaker 1:And I decided to relax into myself. Anthony Bourdain taught me to enjoy who I am, to love what I have to say, to be truthful and honest and vulnerable, even to the point of being dangerous. So I have been lucky in my career to have both strong mentors and teachers, some who I've known personally and some not, and I've been lucky to not get lost in their influence or try to mimic their voice, but to allow them to guide me back to my own and to find my own voice and direction in theirs. And Ray, thank you for that reminder. I appreciate you and if you, dear listener, have a question that needs a new perspective, drop me a line at howdy at yourworkisagiftcom. I want to hear from you. I am James Victoria. This is the Right Questions and I beg you all stay weird Adios.