From The Archives: Getting Unstuck

If you are a stuck or frustrated creative and want to get paid to do what you love, let's talk. https://yourworkisagift.com/coaching

Feeling stuck is a universal struggle, especially for those of us engaged in creative pursuits.

I've grappled with the paralyzing sensation that often spirals into self-doubt and fear. Can we reclaim our creative freedom when it feels like our talents are slipping away? I believe we can. Together, let's confront these lies and shift our mindsets to embrace the full potential of our creative gifts. Let me share my own journey, including a significant move from New York to Texas, and how it taught me to recognize external fears while reminding myself of my resilience and skills. For me, it's all about cultivating self-awareness and reclaiming control over my creative life.

This is fresh from the archives, where we bring back episodes from the past and let them shine once again. Enjoy!

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Getting Unstuck

SPEAKER_00 0:00

All right, let's do this thing. Howdy, and welcome to The Right Questions. And I am your host of hosts, the King of Kings. I am the party, James Victory. Today I want to talk to you about something that we all experience that we I think we all agree pretty much sucks. And I experienced it a couple days last week and it drove me crazy, and I had to write about it, and I wanted to share it with you because it's a place that we don't want to stay very long. And that place is called stuck. It's called stuck. I get stuck, you do too, everybody. And it's okay for a little while because it happens. But it's not okay if it happens too much, and if it happens every time we try to sit down, right? And we give it different names. Somebody I was one of the reasons why I wanted to talk about this was a friend of mine asked about it, and she said she goes down the creative rabbit hole, which means an endless warren of like ideas leading to nothing, I think. Um, or we call it creative block or being uninspired or or even just overwhelm. Overwhelmed and not knowing where to jump in, you know, not knowing, is this good? Is that bad? Should I be doing this? What about that other thing? You know? But call it what you will, but stuck by any other name still stinks. Okay? And I get stuck. And I feel directionless. And then I freak out. I get confused and frustrated. Um, and then my here's the thing. Here's the thing that stinks about it. It's not that you're not producing, it's that your thoughts travel off without you. My thoughts wander and they go down a spiral. And usually my spiral sounds like this. You know, let me know if anything, any of this is familiar. Where I all of a sudden I'm like, oh my God, I'm a fraud. It's not like, oh, I don't have an idea for right now. Oh, I'm stuck on this, you know, writing this article. It's taking a little longer than usual. No, we don't do that. We say, I'm a fraud, I'm a fake, I can't do this. Right? And then you say, oh my God, my career is over. And then my family's gonna leave me, and then the bank's gonna dry up, and then nobody loves me, and then I'm gonna die in a trailer alone, eating cat food on crackers. Literally, that happens to me. I know it sounds crazy, and that's the problem because we torture ourselves with these lies. And again, we've talked about this before: the lies and the truth, and those are the lies. And I did this the other day. I was in a stuckness, I was in a deep stuckiness, um, and I had shit going on in my head, and I was thinking about it, and I was and I was trying to busy myself with basic chores. And in doing so, I dropped a small bowl that had meaning to me. And I knew immediately it was like, dude, that's because you're stuck. Let's get out of this. You know, and I would love to tell you that I'm lying, but shit happens. It happens to all of us. Luckily, for me, I have the training and experience and the tools to gather up my thoughts and sift through the lies and get back to work. And luckily, for you, you have me to remind you constantly. And that's what this is. A lot of, a lot of this, you know, you guys being here, a lot of it is accountability. You know, being able to come someplace every week and going, oh, I'm normal. This is awesome. I'm normal in my weirdness. My weirdness uh is a gift and it's powerful, and occasionally it's a struggle, and that's okay. And now I can get back to work and get my thoughts aligned. And that's really the first step. That's the first step of getting out of stuck, is to understand that our brain lies to us. And our fear takes the wheel and drives us off the cliff. Literally, literally, right? It can drive some some creators completely mad if we let it, if we stay in that subconscious, right? And if we don't remember ourselves and remember our gifts and remind ourselves who we are. You know, I remember um this is a this is a uh a total non-sequitur that makes sense and it doesn't make sense, but I was telling the story the other day, somebody from uh from New York, I bumped into somebody from New York and they said, you know, you know, what was it like when you, you know, when you had to live when you left New York? And I said, Well, uh, I remember when I was telling my friends in New York that I was moving and I was going to Texas, and they were like, oh my God, what are you gonna do about clients? What are you gonna do about this and what are you gonna do about this? And what are you, you know, like this kind of thing. And instilling me their apprehension, their fear, right? It wasn't mine. I wasn't thinking about that at all. I was thinking about, man, this is gonna be a great opportunity. I'm gonna make shit happen. But that that that that constant barrage of other people's fears really had me thinking for a moment. Until I remembered my skills, my training, my expertise, my gift, and how strong it is. And I said, you know what? I'm the fucking party. The party's coming with me. And that's what we have to do. We have to remind ourselves. Use whatever words, use whatever reminders, little notes to ourselves. You know, I've got little notes posted up all over the place. I turn them into work, I turn them into work that you may want. And they these reminders are to tell us the truth. And the truth is, you will not die. And the impending doom that you can manifest in your head is not real, and you are a powerful, creative beastie, and you have to remember that. And then once you wrestle your thoughts back, right, and you go, wait a minute, wait, no, no, no. This is not how I die. The next step is to breathe, right? Because what happens when your thoughts go wild is that you're reacting to the fear. You're like, oh no, he, uh, who you're reacting to the fear and not responding consciously with the truth. And the difference between a reaction and a conscious response is a breath. Really, that's what it is. So when you start freaking out, you just take a deep breath and go, Oh, okay. Let me think about this. So you take a deep breath. Actually, take two. They're free, right? So you take a couple of breaths, and those breaths, and you can do it right now, what they do is they reset your nervous system. How does it do that, James? Well, neurology tells us it brings oxygen and blood to your starving brain. It also helps wash the adrenaline out of your body and gives you a moment to find the truth. So now with a calm nervous system and your thoughts aligned, how do we get back to work? So here's some thoughts on how not to get stuck. Okay? So stuck is a reaction. It is a reaction, the feeling of stuck is a reaction to a block. It's expecting performance, right? You get into the studio and you're like, okay, now I'm gonna do this thing. So how can we take the pressure off of expecting that performance? How can you take the seriosity off your plate or at least change your attitude about it? So I have this attitude about shipping day, the day I choose to box up all the work that people have bought and put it in tubes or boxes or whatever, and I have to like be very careful about mailing labels and making sure that things go in the right place and things get in the right boxes, and the work is somewhat fragile, and I have to, and like that like gets on me, you know, adds pressure to shipping day. And I don't want it to take all day, but sometimes it takes a good bunch of hours to get shit out the door. So how do I how can I change my attitude about this thing? How can I take the seriosity off of it? And part of it as I just remind myself is that I'm sending love out to people. I'm making other people's lives brighter with these things. So I've started painting these beautiful, sunny little happy faces on the outsides of boxes. And I've always put notes in, but now I'm putting specific notes in, like dear Dave, you know, thank you, James, right? So so changing your attitude about these things helps tremendously. And that can take the seriosity out of it and therefore not get stuck and go, oh shit, and just keep putting it off and putting it off and putting it off because you don't want to do it. Find a way to make it freaking fun, right? If it's if it's if it's put on party music, then do that. And sometimes it's just that, to see your work as fun and something you get to do for pleasure, and then know that whatever you do, people will like it because they always do. I do the silliest things, and people are like, oh, that's really awesome. I'm like, wow, okay, thank you. Yeah, right? Something else I do to not get stuck. Um, and this is dangerous, and I love it. I love it because it's dangerous. I create pressure to work, okay? There's one way is taking the pressure off, the other one is creating the pressure to work. And to me, the ultimate inspiration, especially for commercial work, the ultimate inspiration is the deadline. Because if I shorten that deadline, where I only have a day or an hour or you know, a week, I close all those options behind me. I close the doors behind me. And it removes a lot of the manic decision making and all the creative opportunities that I that I can think of. And it forces me just to like vroomp, focus, get the shit done, get it out the door. Right? Also forces me to feck perfection and not and not dick around a lot, not make a lot of changes. So for you, maybe the idea is to create a small window for yourself and take away some of the freedom, right? Do this by scheduling, schedule a small opportunity for you without any other concerns. Okay? Because the pressure, the pressure can be a killer. Here's a funny story. I have a pal, he's an artist in Sweden, uh, originally uh originally he's from Boston, but he's a he's a New York pal of mine. His name is Brian Ray, R-E-A. Look up his work. Um he was having a um a very large show in Japan uh at the end of the year, end of last year. And we spoke on the phone in the beginning of this year, and I was asking him about the show. And he told me this very funny story about pressure. So he was producing all this work, and some of it was three-dimensional, and some of it had to be manufactured, but a lot of it was just these, these, these beautiful drawings that he does. Um, he does them for the New York Times mostly, but he was doing, he'd done these beautiful drawings, and he was telling me how manic it was at the end, and and and and he hated it. He hated having this show because it was months and months of of producing and um preparing and dealing with movers and all kinds of stuff, right? So he hated having the show. Um, and finally the day came and the movers came and they took all the stuff and they're boxing it all up. And he, as soon as they left, as soon as he left, he said he just like fell back in this chair and was like, oh, fuck. And he and and and then all of a sudden he had these ideas. Then all of a sudden all these ideas started coming to him. And he went out the door and he looks down, he looks down the road and he sees the trucks moving away, and then he went, he went back in the studio and he said he said he literally called the producer of the show and said, Hey, can you um can can you have the trucks come back? And he literally created two more pieces because the pressure was off. Because he's like, because he could finally have fun now. He says, and those were the two best pieces in the show. So the pressure does a funny thing for us, right? So we talked about um creative block. I mentioned creative block in the beginning of the show. Um, and personally, I don't believe in creative block. I know we talk about writer's block and creative block and being out of ideas. I don't believe in that. But I do believe strongly in boredom. I do believe in boredom. I do believe boredom happens. But I also believe that the answer to boredom is play. You know, boredom is boredom is when we're just beating our head against a wall, thinking it's a door. Right?

Creative Play and Overcoming Stuckness

SPEAKER_00 14:54

I think that most creative people, especially adults, because when you're kids, you don't have any of these issues. You don't get stuck, you just you know, you don't make sketches even, you just go boom and do it. And go, go, hey, do you have more red? Do it, right? But I think most creative adults don't play enough. And the answer is always play. You know? I have the best job in the world. I get to make shit up for a living. If I want to start another school, if I want to start a course, if I want to start a a different podcast, I just make it up and just go do it. And then I go, oh, hey, the right questions crowd, guess what? We're gonna switch over here. Is that cool? But like, even someone who tastes ice cream for a living can get bored. Right? We all have to cleanse our palate and change it up occasionally. And by playing and changing things up, we can find our way out of boredom. The best way I know how to play is by doing the opposite of what I think I should be doing. I think getting stuck is like this. Uh, you know, you it's like it's like, can you imagine going down the uh uh uh the dead end, a dead end, right? You go down this long dead end and you get to the end and you and you expect a door to be on the left or the right and ahead of you, and you like keep bumping around in there. It's like a like a uh like a roomba. Imagine a roomba stuck in a closet, you know, right? That's what stuck feels like. Right now, you're thinking, oh man, I wish James Victory could be my mentor, my guru. Hell, I wish he was my coach. Well, you can make that happen. Go to your work is a gift.com. There's a questionnaire that will probably help you out, but it'll also give you access to a free call. So let's talk. Let's free you from overwhelm and creative frustration. Let's build your business and help you get paid to do what you love. Again, go to yourworkisagift.com. Let's talk. And I think when we get there, when we get in that closet or down that long haul, I think we've been thinking about the work for a long time and looking for what I would call the right answer. And we get stuck. Because creativity is not math. And sometimes we've got to back up a long way and get out of there by looking for the wrongest answer. Sometimes the wrongest answer is the right one. When I was in my um late 20s, um I used to have regular lunches with my pal uh Stefan Sagmeister. We had both kind of started out together. And during these lunches, we would share uh work and share things we were working on. And we found that we worked in a very similar fashion, actually. And because basically what we would both do would we would we would come up with the dumbest idea possible and then design the fuck out of it. And the reason we come up with a dumb idea is because it would be the idea that no one else could come up with, or nobody else would dare, would dare come up with. And then we design the hell out of it because when we design the hell out of it, we give it validity. We make it look real, and the client can't say no. Right? It's like it's like you're hanging out with a friend in a restaurant and you're having a drink or two. And, you know, I don't, I don't advocate drinking. It's just a it's a metaphor. It's a metaphor for loosening up right now, right? So you're hanging out with a friend and you're talking about work. You're like, oh, what are you working on? And you're like, eh, I got this stuff for the agency I'm trying to do. Uh what are you what are you working on? Oh, I've got this paper I'm trying to write, blah, blah, blah. So you start talking about each other's work, right? And you get to this point when you when when you get start getting goofy about it. And one of a one of you looks at the other one and says, Well, you know you know it would be really funny. And whatever they say next, that's the answer. Because it's the wrongest answer. It's the wrest answer, but you can make it make sense, right? So come up with the dumbest thing you can do, you can come up with, and then do that, because it's probably the right answer. And it's the right answer because you're not thinking about it. You're not struggling and working, right? You're not, you're not, you don't have to sweat coming off your brow. It's the right answer, and it will work because it's fun and it's funny and it's fresh and goofy and dumb and surprising, and no one will ever print or produce it. But somehow they keep doing it. Somehow they do it, and that is another way to create a reputation for yourself, a name for yourself. God damn, that that that Josephine, she is one daring woman. She was she just comes up with this stuff, and man, people just people just make it happen. So another idea about stuck and getting out of stuck is this is something I want you to think about. I'm gonna try to put it in a it's gonna be corny and silly and stupid. Uh I'm gonna actually try to produce it and send it to you so it will make more sense. But here's another idea. I want you to take the UBT out of doubt. Take the UBT out of doubt. You get it in your head yet? It's do. Do without the UBT. Right? I don't know why the B is in there anyway, because you don't say it. I don't know, it should be doot. Doot. Don't know why it's dab out, but take the UBT out of doubt. I know it's corny, but the idea works because you're left with do. Do there's nothing better than action to get rid of stuckiness. Get in the studio and make or play, or play like you're making, or make like you're playing. Just make action happen. Do There is no try, there is only do. Practice every day, and be willing to make mistakes and willing to make a mess. Beats stuck. Confronting your stuck every day with regular, consistent showing up, creating a schedule. You will never be stuck if you have a regular, consistent schedule for making or writing or playing or sewing whatever you're doing. And let everyone know that this is your time. Set boundaries. Let everybody know and be consistent. Because then you're then your then your nervous system knows, then your body knows, then the universe knows, then your audience knows. And now here's the big I here's the big idea about that, about the making. You gotta make without judging, without questioning, without the without the UBT. Right? One of my guests um was making a series of lovely drawings. And they shared them on our Discord channel. But when they shared them, they made a lot of excuses for them. What a what a what a what a what a way to to scare excitement away, right? No judging the work, no excuses, no comparison. Just make. Give yourself the freedom. Give yourself the freedom to play. Give yourself the freedom to suck. Just make, just do. You are not entitled to the fruit of your labor. Only the labor yourself. That means do the work. Do the work and something will come of it. You never know when something is going to be good or not. I certainly don't. I make a lot of work, then I publish it, and then I see what happens. I would love to have a gallery show and I would just collect up all the things that I think no one should have ever produced and I'll call it James Victoria's poop, you know, and and and it will be a success. People will like the work in there because I'm a terrible judge. You're a terrible judge. Just make the work. Make it for you. Make things that you love. But don't scribble it out. Don't judge it. Don't compare it. Okay. Lastly, another way to beat Stuck is to walk away from it. Stuck is like a a bully. And we don't always have to face the bully. Sometimes it's better to walk away. Or run away. Or swim away. Get it? Because Stuck will not follow you when you go out for a walk. Or a run. Or to the gym or to the pool. Because Stuck knows that inspiration is waiting for you out there. So walk away. Do something else. Preferably with your body to get all those humors moving again. Get that blood moving again. Remember, refreshing that starved brain with oxygen and blood. Get your body moving. Move your toes and your fingers and roll your neck. Get out and do. So feeling stuck can be terrible. And it can be chronic. It can be chronic. There are, I know for a damn fact there are artists and creators who are who are who are constantly stuck and complaining about their work and will never get ahead because of it. And I know for a fact there are regular human beings with real jobs who are miserable because they're not doing what you're doing. They're not drawing, they're not painting, they're not creating, they're not designing. And you can get out of stuck by taking a deep breath and giving yourself the freedom to play. I'm James Victory. I freaking love you. Thank you so much for being here. That means the world to me. It really does. This is the right questions, but it's not the right questions unless you guys have questions. So drop me a line. Let me know what you're thinking about. Let me know what you're stuck on. Let me know uh uh uh your your your your your deep and burning questions. I want to help you. That's what I'm here for. I love ya, and I'll talk to you next week. Adios.