From The Archives: Authenticity Is Beautiful

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We chase confidence relentlessly, yet what we're truly seeking might be authenticity – the courage to be consistently ourselves in every situation.


This profound insight lies at the heart of this episode of The Right Questions, where we explore why authenticity trumps confidence and how this subtle shift in perspective can transform both your creative work and your life.

This is fresh from the archives, where we bring back episodes from the past and let them shine once again. Enjoy!

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Transcript

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The Quest for Confidence

SPEAKER_00 0:00

All right, here we go. Howdy, I'm James Victorian. This is The Right Questions. We all want confidence. We all want to be confident. We all want to feel confident. Everybody wants confidence. That's actually the number one thing that my coaching clients come to me for. Confidence. Confidence, confidence, confidence. But what they really mean, and what they really want, and you know, this is the right question, is authenticity. Authenticity over confidence. Did you ever think about that? Authenticity is such an amazing tool. Or muscle or power or gift, whatever you want to call it. And what authenticity means is consistency. Consistency in who you are. Constantly, consistently being the same damn person. That means there is no difference between who you are at home and how you feel and how you act at home by yourself. There's no difference between that and who you are and how you act in public. Right? There's no difference in your heart, or there's no difference in your work, or there's no difference in your carriage. You know, some people have to put on, you know, it's basically like going to work and having to put on a put on one of those big fake team mascot uniforms, right? You have to be somebody, you have to act like something, you know? Act like, oh, I gotta go to work. I better act like I know what I'm doing, or I better, you know, I better show the boss who I am. And that brings problems because there's no authenticity there. You're not allowed, you're not allowing yourself or you're not being allowed to be the same person, right? And when you allow yourself that authenticity, what that means in turn is vulnerability. You can open up, you can relax,

Authenticity and Vulnerability

SPEAKER_00 2:31

you can be vulnerable. You know, when you ask people to be vulnerable, they generally break down and cry, right? Because that's who they really want to be at the moment. And that means we're willing to show our true selves, our true feelings. And that means flaws, imperfections, warts and all, being vulnerable. That's the access way to authenticity. You know, when you're not afraid to admit mistakes, or not afraid to share your emotions, your true feelings. So there's a gap between who you are and who others think you are. And the bigger the gap, the more inauthentic. The smaller the gap, the more authentic. And if you are inauthentic, you're basically a fake, right? It's probably no fault of your own. You know, it's fine to be a fake, it's fine to be inauthentic. But here's the problem. You never learn who you are. You never get to know who you are. You know, and I understand it's hard for us as adults. You know, it's just being you. And that's hard. And I always have to say it like that, for adults, you know? Well, it's hard for adults. I have to qualify that. Because as children, it was easier until it was teased out of us, or beat out of us, or whatever out of us. I mean, when I was a kid and I grew up in a teasy household. I grew up in a in a in a non-emotional household. And I was what they called a sensitive child, which of course meant meant, you know, it was not a kind thing to say to me. It was a way of putting me down at the time, but I was a sensitive child, but I was not allowed. There was some awareness of my sensitivity, but it was not allowed. So if we don't feel safe to be ourselves, that's what happens. It gets shut down. Right? There was consciousness that I was a sensitive child, but I was not allowed to be that thing. So what happens is when you express an idea or an opinion or an emotion, anything honest, and it gets shot down repeatedly in public or teased. In school, it happens often. You know, you become gun shy. And you never want to take that risk again. You never want to take that risk again. So what happens is you just go along with the crowd, you become part of the herd. You know the herd. And you just follow everybody else. You follow everybody else's leads, you no longer have an opinion, you no longer stand out, you no longer express anything true. And what I think happens for creatives, especially when they become professional creatives, they have a lot of concerns. There's an audience out there. There's people they want to sell to, there's people they want to impress, right? And and like most creatives, and I'm familiar with this feeling, we're kind of gun shy about expressing who we are and showing our true feelings and showing our true selves in our work. But again, then we don't know who we are, and that's a sin. We don't allow ourselves to ever find out what we're uh what we're capable of creatively. You know, so so why do you need authenticity?

Becoming Comfortable in Your Own Skin

SPEAKER_00 6:23

Why don't we just hide all the time? But since, you know, you're one of those creative type persons, I will share that with you. And like I said at the top of the at the top of the episode, the first thing that comes from authenticity is confidence. Boom. Right? Authentic people are comfortable in their own skin. They don't feel the need to seek approval from others or or conform to uh outside expectations. That makes you dangerous, that makes you radical. I mean, hell, I'm in Texas, you know, they there there's some there's some full-grown men in Texas in the grocery store wearing skirts, you know? They don't feel the need to seek approval from others, and that's dangerous. That can be scary. But there's confidence that comes in that. Right now, you're thinking, oh man, I wish James Victory could be my mentor, my guru. Hell, I wish he was my coach. Well, you can make that happen. Go to your workisagift.com. There's a questionnaire that will probably help you out, but it'll also give you access to a free call. So let's talk. Let's free you from overwhelm and creative frustration. Let's build your business and help you get paid to do what you love. Again, go to your workoft.com. Let's talk. Also, what comes with that is courage. Because you're not afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Even in the face of uh questions, even in the face of opposition, even in the face of inquisition. Why? Because they trust themselves. They trust themselves. And when you trust yourself, you don't have to worry about others trusting you. Right? Because there's no internal judging or comparison games happening.

Creative Freedom Through Authenticity

SPEAKER_00 8:43

You just rely on yourself, and then you find out that everyone else will fall in line. That's how you find your audience. That's how you find the people who will trust you. That's how you find the people who will buy from you, who will fall in love with you. Is by trusting yourself. Authenticity brings that. And creatively, when you're true to yourself and you trust yourself, the work that comes out of you will be yours. Quite frankly, it will be a portrait of you. I've been showing a lot of my old work lately, and the response has been really kind of wild to hear how people talk about it and how they remember it and how fond they are of it. Because if you're authentic and you put it in your work, it's a portrait of you. And therefore, your work is much more likely to stand out and offer something unique with a style and a signature that is you and yours. Listen, creativity is deeply personal. We forget that. We forget that. We have to divulge something about ourselves. You know, and as particularly commercial artists, man, have we forgotten that. Whew, leave that at the fucking door, dude. Right? But authenticity allows us creative types to express our thoughts and feelings and experiences without filtering them through societal expectations or the desire to please other people. Right? This leads to original, strong, memorable, sexy, impactful work. You know, when was the last time you saw a logo design that made you feel something? Or you looked at it and you said, Wow, I think someone really cared about this. Somebody really thought about it. You know, as designers, we don't think of our work as deeply personal. We're like, well, we've got to make this for other people, and it's gotta look this certain way. You know, since I mentioned logo designers, you know, logo design, I think I think logo designers care about the thickness of the lines and the balance of the thing. They care about the math and the perfection of the thing, but not how it makes you feel. I think authenticity gives you the courage to take risks like that, to consider those options, to consider beauty, for example, to consider love, for example, in your work. Authenticity gives us the courage to take bold risks and experiment, and experiment and play with new ideas, and not feel like we're ticking boxes and getting out our getting out our our our millimeter rulers and making sure everything's balanced. You know, and when you take risks, you care less about the outcome, which is freedom. Because you're you become more willing to push boundaries and explore uncharted territories because you're not afraid of being judged or misunderstood. So for us, the creatives, authenticity is essential. It's crucial, it is molto importante, super important because it allows us to create from a place of truth and integrity, and it leads to work that is both personally

Being Seen, Heard and Loved

SPEAKER_00 12:47

and universally significant and deeply resonant with us and with others. I think authenticity is the birthplace, literally the birthplace of no fucks given. Right? I mean I've I've mentioned I've mentioned this other idea uh often here on the right questions. Um the idea of being seen and heard and love. I think authenticity allows us to be seen and heard and loved because we don't give a fuck. You know, we all really just want to be seen and heard and loved. And authentic authenticity gives us that. It is allows us to express who we are and what we can do, you know, to the world or even one person, and let them see us, and let them appreciate us. Remember, it's that ability to say, hey, look at me, look what I can do. That's an authenticity, that's vulnerability. Take that risk. Take that risk. Risks are the edge, they're the border, they're the the the threshold between who you are and who you want to be, and the work you want to make. You've gotta take those risks. You've gotta you've gotta put yourself out and say, look at me. I want to be seen and heard and loved. I am reminded often about authenticity by my puppy, by my little white poodle puppy named Lamby. She reminds me every day. If she's sleeping in the hall and I walk by, she looks up and gently rolls over and exposes her belly. She wants to say hi. Love me. That's all. And to me, it is the it is honestly the most perfect expression I know of wanting to be seen and loved or appreciated. And w she takes that risk. She opens, literally opens up to me. Listen, take a risk today. Hell, take two, they're free. Allow someone in. Allow someone to see you. And understand if they're only window shopping, let 'em go. Just let 'em go, because others will come. I'm James Victory. This is the right questions. Adios.